Shoo fly, don’t bother me!

I could honestly say that last night was one of the worst sleeps that I ever had.  Astonishing considering I survived night after night of cluster breastfeeding sessions with a massive 10 pound 10-ounce Anishinaabe baby.

Last night, I had to strap my hips into a new medical contraption designed to keep them from separating at night.  Whirlwind was up every few hours because his last two molars are breaking through. The cat was tearing around downstairs and meowing. I made five trips to the washroom because the baby was dancing on my bladder.  And then I heard it. As I laid in the dark desperately wishing for sleep…I heard a bug.  Not the annoying buzz of a mosquito but a bug that sounded fairly substantial when it landed in the dark.

I froze.

I knew it was just had to be one of the bugs that have been terrorizing me the last few days; a June bug.  You may laugh but we’ve had a few incidents lately that warrant my fear.

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Just before bed (and thankfully, before Fuzz left for work) I managed to trap three June bugs under drinking glasses so they couldn’t fly up, hit me like a brick and get stuck with their fuzzy little legs.  Have you ever tried to squish a June bug?  Impossible!  It’s like they are made of armour.  So I trap them and Fuzz releases them outside.  Besides, I really cannot bring myself to kill anything, no matter how repulsive I find it.  I believe that every creature is our relation and they have a unique role.  Thankfully, Fuzz thinks the same and I do the trapping and Fuzz does the releasing.  If Fuzz is not home, I talk to the bug and tell them to stay away from me.  Crazy?  Probably – especially because those damn June bugs don’t listen to me.

The other morning I was working in my home office and I noticed a June bug near my feet.  I trapped it but Fuzz was not home!  I tried to continue to work and ignore the bug trying to escape the glass walls, but I just couldn’t sit there watching it flounder.  I gave myself a pep talk:  “You can do this.  It’s easy.  Fuzz does it all the time” and grabbed a sheet of paper.  I successfully employed Fuzz’s method and slid the paper under the glass.  However, it all fell apart when I tried to pick up the paper, flip the glass and keep the bug trapped inside.  The paper kept flopping open and the June bug fluttered about.  I squealed each time it happened.  I really do not know how I managed to not fling the glass across the room.  After about four attempts and a nervous breakdown, I managed to get that sucker flung as far off the front step as I could.

It is not just me that has been on edge about the June bugs either.  Fuzz and I were sitting in the dark last Sunday night watching True Blood.  Just as the program ended with it’s characteristic abrupt black screen, a June bug flew up and hit Fuzz in the head.  He leapt off the couch so fast that I had to re-swallow my stomach.  I laughed – a lot.  But mostly because I was glad that it didn’t happen to me.  As he hunted for the errant bug that bounced off his head, I took off to bed.   Our wedding vows didn’t say anything about June bugs.

I really do not know how they are getting in to the house!  They are not sneaky enough to fool me into letting them into the house like those tricky ants on the Orkin commercials.  I am very suspicious about the fireplace but Fuzz insists that the flue is closed.  I conducted research on how those sneaky little buggers are getting in.  Apparently they are attracted to light where they like to get it on and make baby larvae June bugs.  Useful information. I now know that I’ll be sitting in the dark for the next month ensuring that the music of Barry White or Marvin Gaye makes it nowhere near my playlist.

Baamaapii.

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