….or husband, for that matter. Fuzz’s job normally has him working long hours for many days. Some days (and nights) when he is at work, I am at wit’s end with the kids, pets, cleaning, laundry, cooking. I have cleaned more fabrics and surfaces of bodily fluids this week than one would normally admit to.
Recently, Fuzz has been working MANDATORY overtime (don’t even get me started on that topic) and if he is not at work, he is sleeping. Therefore, it has essentially just been me with the kids around the clock. I totally give mad props to single parents everywhere because it is the hardest thing ever! I cannot decide if it is easier or harder now that I am a SAHM.
Lately Fuzz has been getting angry hate texts while at work and I’ve been fighting the urge to kick his ass outta bed when he’s home…although that’s not really fair because he is usually not home long enough to even get a decent sleep. However, it is exceptionally irritating to need help or to see the grass growing out of control and he is sleeping upstairs.
Sometimes I am reduced to tears. If you can’t beat them, join them. Except in my case, it’s join the baby while Whirlwind comforts the two of us. As soon as the waterworks begin, he calmly comes over to climb in my lap to hug, kiss and pat my back. It’s somewhat strange to be comforted that way by my two year old but it is even more comforting that he has already learned empathy. I must be doing something right, despite not having help.
I often think that it would be easier just to move closer to home (and my village) but I choose to stay. I choose to stay because I want my kids to know there is life out there (to borrow a line from Reba McEntire). I want them to know that they can do anything because the world and all the choices that come with it are literally at their fingertips here. The north is a beautiful place to live but some options are simply not available there. Maybe I can convince them to spend their summers there and they will learn to love it as much as I do.
But for now, we are here where I grin and bare it….for them. We are building our own village of friends (some of which are ex-northerners so they get it). We found beaches, pow wows, food and other things that I miss from home. We are fortunate to have a lot of visits from Grandma and Papa while Skype fills the time between.
It will be all worth it when I see them accomplish their uninhibited dreams.