A Mother’s Thoughts

It’s 2:43 AM.

I can’t sleep.  I awoke at midnight because the baby cried out needing comfort for a nasty bout of teething pain.  After I nursed her, I sat rocking and sushing her to back to sleep.  The only light was from my smart phone.  I was reading the vile and vitriolic hate smeared on my Facebook and Twitter Feeds.

My husband came home from work and took over soothing the baby.  I returned to my bed where my son lay sleeping.  I too tried to sleep but I could not help think about what I read tonight and over the last few weeks.  I have been silent about it all because I think I am still trying to process how people can be so blatantly cruel.  People fastened to beliefs fueled by cultural hegemony.

As I embraced my innocent two-year old son, I could not help but think of how a Jewish mother feels, an African-American mother feels, a Two-spirited mother feels or all other mothers that have and continue to be discriminated against.  I wept thinking about how my ancestors must have felt when their children were there one day and stolen from them the next.  Only to return foreign and alienated.  Exposed to horror, away from comforting hands.  If they returned at all.

These thoughts made me cling harder to my son.  He must have known that I needed him as much as he needs me.  He placed his hand on my arm in such a reassuringly way.  It made me want to get up and finally break my silence.  I will no longer hide for that is what angry trolls do. 

I need to forge ahead, continue to educate people and make this world a better place for my children and your children.  They should never have to lay awake at night wondering why discrimination exists in this country, because it doesn’t.

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one” – John Lennon.

Baamaapii.